Our appointment was today in Columbia and there were a few things we were specifically asking God to help in. One of the things was concerning the weather. We are under an ice storm warning and this is what part of it says, "An Ice Storm Warning means severe winter weather conditions are expected or occurring. Significant amounts of ice accumulations will make travel dangerous or impossible." So, we prayerfully proceeded leaving earlier than we normally would to allow for slow speeds and prepared with pleny of warm winter garb. The warning began at noon today and so far this winter season, they've seemed to be right on. The Lord in His kindness has held it back, allowing us to travel all the way there and back with no precipitation along the way! It's now 4:30 and the sprinkles have just started. :)
The second main prayer going into the appointment was that we would not be in limbo having to decide what to do; aspirate the cyst or leave it alone. We prayed that God would make it clear just as He had done for Abraham's servant in finding a bride for Isaac; that He would send His angel before us. They did the ultrasound, measuring the cyst and looking at the heart, then the doctor came in, briefly looked as well and without hesitation said, "I think we're just going to leave this alone and keep an eye on it." That's exactly what I was hoping to hear! The cyst hadn't grown, it wasn't affecting the baby's heart, and the lungs are developing fine. Instead of having to make trips to Columbia weekly, we can now go every other week. The doctor said that if the cyst stayed the same, which he seemed to expect it to do, then we would just deliver and let the pediatric surgeon take care of it after delivery. So, we'll plan to deliver down there.
We wanted to thank everyone for their prayers! I honestly haven't known how to pray concerning all of this and feel I'm more just resting in the Hands of my Savior and soveirgn Lord while my brothers and sisters bear the burden in prayer. How thankful we are for each of you!! If God puts us on your heart, please continue to pray! We'll know more as the pregnancy progresses and we speak with the pediatric surgeon as to any dangers this could impose on baby Allison once she's born, etc.
As we were approaching Columbia and I was getting anxious, this song came on the CD we were listening to. God, as He always has, came with His comforting Hand and settled and comforted my heart. This song seems to be the theme song of this whole trial. Whether God chooses to completely work a miracle in Allison's life by removing the cyst, to have her live a handicapped life, or to take her life early, this is our prayer:
Speak, O Lord, as we come to You
To receive the food of Your Holy Word.
Take Your truth, plant it deep in us;
Shape and fashion us in Your likeness,
That the light of Christ might be seen today
In our acts of love and our deeds of faith.
Speak, O Lord, and fulfill in us
All Your purposes for Your glory.
Teach us, Lord, full obedience,
Holy reverence, true humility;
Test our thoughts and our attitudes
In the radiance of Your purity.
Cause our faith to rise; cause our eyes to see
Your majestic love and authority.
Words of pow'r that can never fail—
Let their truth prevail over unbelief.
Speak, O Lord, and renew our minds;
Help us grasp the heights of Your plans for us—
Truths unchanged from the dawn of time
That will echo down through eternity.
And by grace we'll stand on Your promises,
And by faith we'll walk as You walk with us.
Speak, O Lord, till Your church is built
And the earth is filled with Your glory.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sacrifice
These are some quotes from Joseph Hall in his book Contemplations. This was his contemplation of Abraham offering Isaac; which that whole passage has been an encouragement to me during this trial with baby Allison.
"The only way to find comfort in an earthly thing, is to surrender it (in a faithful carelessness) into the hands of God."
"Whatsoever is dearest to us upon earth, is our Isaac: happy are we, if we can sacrifice it to God. Those shall never rest with Abraham, that cannot sacrifice with Abraham."
God has been faithful, with every child, to remind us of the need to offer them up to Him. No matter what their calling in life and how short or long their lives are lived, all that matters is that Christ, and Christ alone, be glorified in them!
"The only way to find comfort in an earthly thing, is to surrender it (in a faithful carelessness) into the hands of God."
"Whatsoever is dearest to us upon earth, is our Isaac: happy are we, if we can sacrifice it to God. Those shall never rest with Abraham, that cannot sacrifice with Abraham."
God has been faithful, with every child, to remind us of the need to offer them up to Him. No matter what their calling in life and how short or long their lives are lived, all that matters is that Christ, and Christ alone, be glorified in them!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Baby Girl
..."Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them. Psalm 139:11-16
When God was weaving this little baby girl in my womb, apart from our knowledge, He chose to place a fluid producing cell in her upper left chest where there was no place for it to drain. Thus, the cell produced fluid, and since it had no place to drain, it created a cyst in that location. The condition is known as Congenital Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation (CCAM) and is very rare. There are 5 different types of this malformation and of those types, this baby has the most treatable, Type 1 which means instead of several cysts, there is only 1 cyst. The cyst, however, is rather large taking up about 1/4 of her chest. The concern is that if the cyst continues to grow, it could push the heart over (it has already a little but not enough to cause damage) causing damage to the arteries and veins that are connected to the heart. Also damage that could be done is the cyst pushing the esophagus over affecting fluid intake/outtake, and the cyst is in the way for the lung, once she is born, to expand as much as it needs in order for her to breathe properly. God has been kind to not allow the cyst to cause any harm to any organs at this time.
The doctor, a specialist in Columbia, wanted to treat the cyst immediately by inserting a needle through my stomach into the baby and into the cyst to aspirate the fluid in the cyst. The baby, however, was turned in such a way that her left side was down toward me and they wouldn't have been able to get to the cyst. It's comforting to know that God is in control of everything! The doctor decided to not push, to give us time to read some material and think about it, and we'll return in one week, next Thursday at 1:30, to evaluate the cyst and see if the baby has turned in a way that they could reach it. After reading on it, I saw that these cysts have been known to go down on their own, or even stay the same while the baby still grows allowing room for the organs to locate in their proper places. The doctor didn't indicate this, but hadn't had time to read the information he gave me and with it being so rare, I don't know how often he sees this. I think he was hoping to treat it quickly because it's border-line dangerous right now for the baby. After asking more about draining the cyst, the doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if the cyst filled back up (it was almost as if that's what he expected, but there was no way to know until we drained it). If it did fill back up, then he would have to go in and put a shunt into the cyst and baby's chest to stay until delivery, and then treated immediately by a surgical pediatrician.
We have so much to be thankful for in this like for David's job where he only has to work 4 days a week and those are flexible allowing him to take a day to travel to Columbia with me without taking time off, that the type of cyst the baby has is the easiest to treat, that the cyst hasn't caused any harm to the baby as of now, that He is sovereign and Lord over everything! What a privilege and blessing to be His children, to know that all things work together for the good of His children, that He loves us with an infinite love, that He's "too wise to be mistaken and too good to be unkind", that there are NO accidents!, that His love and compassion are infinite and that He has, can and will take far better care for this little girl than I ever could. I could go on and on!!! Our prayer is that above all, Christ would be glorified through this little child that He has created, that He would display His glory and power through her; He created her, she is His! That we would say and respond exactly how He would desire before the doctors, nurses and everyone. That as the rose petals are crushed by His loving Hand (just as His Son), we would pour forth a sweet smelling aroma pleasing to Him and too fragrant to be missed by all around us, and that through the fire of tribulation, we would be made more pure in order for others to see Him and Him alone reflected in us! Oh the blessing of being His child!!!
When God was weaving this little baby girl in my womb, apart from our knowledge, He chose to place a fluid producing cell in her upper left chest where there was no place for it to drain. Thus, the cell produced fluid, and since it had no place to drain, it created a cyst in that location. The condition is known as Congenital Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation (CCAM) and is very rare. There are 5 different types of this malformation and of those types, this baby has the most treatable, Type 1 which means instead of several cysts, there is only 1 cyst. The cyst, however, is rather large taking up about 1/4 of her chest. The concern is that if the cyst continues to grow, it could push the heart over (it has already a little but not enough to cause damage) causing damage to the arteries and veins that are connected to the heart. Also damage that could be done is the cyst pushing the esophagus over affecting fluid intake/outtake, and the cyst is in the way for the lung, once she is born, to expand as much as it needs in order for her to breathe properly. God has been kind to not allow the cyst to cause any harm to any organs at this time.
The doctor, a specialist in Columbia, wanted to treat the cyst immediately by inserting a needle through my stomach into the baby and into the cyst to aspirate the fluid in the cyst. The baby, however, was turned in such a way that her left side was down toward me and they wouldn't have been able to get to the cyst. It's comforting to know that God is in control of everything! The doctor decided to not push, to give us time to read some material and think about it, and we'll return in one week, next Thursday at 1:30, to evaluate the cyst and see if the baby has turned in a way that they could reach it. After reading on it, I saw that these cysts have been known to go down on their own, or even stay the same while the baby still grows allowing room for the organs to locate in their proper places. The doctor didn't indicate this, but hadn't had time to read the information he gave me and with it being so rare, I don't know how often he sees this. I think he was hoping to treat it quickly because it's border-line dangerous right now for the baby. After asking more about draining the cyst, the doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if the cyst filled back up (it was almost as if that's what he expected, but there was no way to know until we drained it). If it did fill back up, then he would have to go in and put a shunt into the cyst and baby's chest to stay until delivery, and then treated immediately by a surgical pediatrician.
We have so much to be thankful for in this like for David's job where he only has to work 4 days a week and those are flexible allowing him to take a day to travel to Columbia with me without taking time off, that the type of cyst the baby has is the easiest to treat, that the cyst hasn't caused any harm to the baby as of now, that He is sovereign and Lord over everything! What a privilege and blessing to be His children, to know that all things work together for the good of His children, that He loves us with an infinite love, that He's "too wise to be mistaken and too good to be unkind", that there are NO accidents!, that His love and compassion are infinite and that He has, can and will take far better care for this little girl than I ever could. I could go on and on!!! Our prayer is that above all, Christ would be glorified through this little child that He has created, that He would display His glory and power through her; He created her, she is His! That we would say and respond exactly how He would desire before the doctors, nurses and everyone. That as the rose petals are crushed by His loving Hand (just as His Son), we would pour forth a sweet smelling aroma pleasing to Him and too fragrant to be missed by all around us, and that through the fire of tribulation, we would be made more pure in order for others to see Him and Him alone reflected in us! Oh the blessing of being His child!!!
"Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. " Psalm 103
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